trident-usatsi.png
USATSI

If you hit a home run and don't flip your bat, did it really happen? Forget a solemn trot around the dirt. These days, it's all about showing off.

It's not just the young teams either. Aaron Judge and the Yankees hit The Griddy last season. Lars Nootbaar and the Cardinals have their peculiar pepper grinder hand gesture. This year, however, home run celebrations have reached new heights. We have tridents, swords, funnels, and even wigs. A month into the season, more than half the teams in MLB have some sort of special ritual.

So which squad owns the best home run dugout celebration? That's where we come in.

Here's the deal: I award points for both creativity and relevancy. And, boy, am I a sucker for geographical and/or team name props. Let us rank. 

1. Nationals' Founding Fathers

The Nationals using colonial wigs to celebrate dingers in our nation's capital is as American as it gets. It's flashy. It's unique. It's new. Most importantly, it's applicable to the team name and city. This takes the cake.


2. Orioles' homer hose

With the second-youngest roster in baseball, we expected Baltimore to have some youthful creativity. And the water system they have adopted is as good as it gets. For singles, players make a "turning on the faucet" gesture. For doubles and triples, they hit the sprinkler. And for home runs, it's time to bring out the "Homer Hose." The commitment to the act is unrivaled. What a fun team to watch.

3. Angels' Samurai hat

Of course it was Shohei Ohtani's idea. Not just because of his Japanese roots but because he expresses as much emotion and fun on the diamond as anybody. According to Rhett Bollinger's Angels Beat newsletter, Ohtani, with the help of his interpreter Ippei Mizuhara, spent about $2,500 on the Samurai helmet. Also known as a kabuto, it is as authentic as you can find and supposedly incredibly heavy.

4. Mariners' trident

The history of the trident derives from the mythological story of Poseiden (Greek) or Neptune (Roman), the god of the sea. As already mentioned, I am a sucker for props that have team relevance. Mariners, otherwise known as sailors, are those who roam the sea. To be celebrated as god of the sea moments after delivering a baseball into a sea of Mariners fans is symbolic. Seattle is not the first to bring out a trident, though, which is why they are not higher on the list.

5. Twins' fishing costume

Minnesota is known as the 'Land of 10000 Lakes,' and fishing is about as common practice in the state as Byron Buxton long balls when he's healthy. This one gets a major boost in the rankings for embracing the roots of its home state and costume originality.

6. White Sox's mobster

At first, I was unimpressed with the mobster get-up on the South Side. Maybe it's because the team has been so disappointing these past couple years that seeing them celebrate anything makes me cringe. But, I've got to say, this one grew on me. Chicago, a town with a history of notorious crime-riddled mobsters, is the correct play here.

7. Reds' Viking helmet

Cincy made the list for the Viking helmet alone but it soared up the rankings for the team commitment to the act. Yes, the Viking accessory is cool. But the rest of the team rowing behind the home run hitter as he navigates down the handshake line is what separates this scene from the others.

8. Royals' Gladiator helmet

Does it have any geographical relevancy? Not really. With that said, Royals first baseman Vinnie Pasquantino shared the underlying reason for the Gladiator hat on the Chris Rose Rotation Podcast, which gave it some added substance: "[In the movie Gladiator], the people in power didn't want the gladiators to succeed...And [Royals hitting coach Alec Zumwalt] saw that we were a smaller market team. So he started kind of comparing us to them...like nobody wants us to win."

9. Pirates' sword

This one is just too obvious. And that's not intended to demean the creativity, but a Pirate swinging a sword is low-hanging fruit. That said, the origin story of receiving the sword from Queen Banshee, a longtime fan of the team, adds some wholesome nuance.

10. Brewers' cheese head

Similar to the Pirates' sword prop, it's as obvious as it is funny. Seeing adult men wear cheese on top of their heads in a public forum will always be objectively hilarious. And it's also geographically relevant to the state of Wisconsin, the No. 1 cheese-producing state in the country. 

11. Red Sox's dumbbells

Boston's home run cart celebration set the bar pretty high. Now with the cart retired, the Macho Man inflatable dumbbells have made their debut. While there is little to no geographical relevance, it is a tribute to Masataka Yoshida's infatuation with Macho Man. Funny enough, the dumbbells were actually used in the Red Sox' pursuit of Yoshida this past offseason.

12. Padres' Polaroids

A year ago, the Polaroid celly would have been higher on this list. But more than a year has gone by now and it's lost a bit of its luster. It's still fun, but the Padres' postgame piñata parties are the new fad in town.

13. Tigers' hockey

Sure, it's somewhat city-based considering they are using Detroit Red Wings gear. But, all in all, it's too random. Not to mention, the Red Wings have not made the playoffs in seven years. By that context, maybe it's the perfect celebration for a Tigers team that hasn't made the playoffs in nine years.

14. Braves' big hat

I don't understand the big hat. I never have. MLB put a stop to the Braves' big hat celebration over New Era branding issues, and I couldn't be happier. They serve no purpose other than looking unexplainably goofy. I like goofy, but intended goof is cringy.

15. A's goodie bag

The A's inability to land on a proper home run celebration is synonymous with the organization's inability to land on a proper location to build a stadium. First they used a catcher's mask, then Incredible Hulk hands, and now finally Thor's hammer. It's only May. Please, can we find some consistency, Oakland?

16. Marlins' beach hat

Not only is it not original but a division rival used this exact celebration just a short time ago. In fact, the Marlins are the third team to try beach bumming after the Phillies and Angels both donned the beach hats in the 2021 and 2022 seasons, respectively. South Florida is full of vibrant culture. It's time to take a look at some alternative options.