When news of Astros GM Tim Purpura's firing broke earlier this week, I couldn't help but shake my head.
Scrappy ol' Phil Garner and his potluck batting orders should've been run out of town months ago, but Purpura had his hands tied by ownership's decision to trot out the corpse of Craig Biggio for a 73rd season. This more or less forced a series of logjam-unclogging moves that, as witnessed by the spectacular explosion of Jason Jennings' right arm, haven't exactly worked out.
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| The Astros turn over their poorly constructed roster to interim manager Cecil Cooper. (AP) |
Ah, but there are degrees of competence. So I present to you the First Annual Uncle Larry Organizational Rankings. This is not a per-se list of baseball's best GMs so much as a gut-feel take on which franchises have their crap together. Let the debate begin:
1. Atlanta Braves: Whether or not they qualify for October, the Braves remain the game's gold standard. They rarely whiff on big-ticket acquisitions and their farm system reliably spits out a Brian McCann or a Jeff Francoeur every year or so. For those who would mock the Braves for only having won a single title during their 15-year-run of Met-stomping excellence, answer me this: How many teams have won more? The Yankees, obviously, and two hot-at-the-right-moment Marlins squads. OK, fine, the Blue Jays, too. Anyway, the Braves are to baseball what Cheerios are to a balanced diet.
2. Boston Red Sox: Big money + big chutzpah + big Bill James' big bulbous brain = every-year title contention. What's most impressive is the lack of sentimentality, as witnessed by the decisions to let aging stars like Pedro Martinez and Johnny Damon realize their free-agent destiny.
3. Los Anaheimcramento Angels: For the love of God, Bill Stoneman, trade some of those "tools" prospects before the league catches on. It's terrifying to imagine what Vlad Guerrero might do with an actual, bona fide hitter behind him.
4. Oakland A's: Smartest dude in baseball, Billy Beane, who invented the periodic table, gets a mulligan for the team's injury-addled 2007. Limited payroll, OBP-tasticness, the identification of talent inequities in the marketplace, blah blah blah. It's a story as old as Jamie Moyer is crafty, and old.
5. Detroit Tigers: Dave Dombrowski kind of snuck up on everybody, as is his wont. The team's key to success over the next half-decade or so: handling the triumvirate of Joel Zumaya, Justin Verlander and Jeremy Bonderman like the delicate petunias that they are.
6. Arizona Diamondbacks: Holy beautiful young core of position players. Can I pet them? Can I hug them? The Eric Byrnes extension knocks them back a slot or two, though. He was a fourth outfielder before 2007 and he'll be a fourth outfielder after it, no matter how zestfully he dirties up his uniform on a daily basis.
7. San Diego Padres: As steady as the San Diego climate. Kevin Towers understood years ago what most other smart franchises are just figuring out now: middle relievers are a fungible commodity, and should be burned through and just as quickly discarded. Kudos to Towers as well for giving Bud Black a long-deserved chance to helm a big-league ship. Just imagine, hiring an ex-player who wasn't a catcher to manage your team. Talk about thinking outside the (batter's) box.
8. Cleveland Indians: Solid as a rock. Maybe Mark Shapiro can outsource bullpen construction to his pal Towers?
9. New York Yankees: Raise your hand if you were certain Richie Sexson would be playing first base for the Yankees after the July trade deadline (sheepishly raising hand). If the Yankees continue with their newfound focus on development, they'll be a robo-team before too long. Enjoy your puny little victories now, rest of the league.
