It's the week of July 4, and there could be plenty of additional fireworks depending on how a key meeting proceeds at PGA Tour headquarters. That and many other combustible issues get the suspicious eyeball on this week's Up & Down list. Since summer is here and the mercury is rising, the need for more venting is clear.
Down
Speaking with bifurcated tongue
It's hard to know where to start with what seems destined to be a huge P.R. disaster on the rulemaking front. At a meeting on Tuesday, the PGA Tour Policy Board will decide whether to blow off the Jan. 1 deadline requiring the adoption of new grooves on irons used on tour. Despite having more than two years to adjust, equipment manufacturers, especially said to include the publicly silent Titleist, claim they need more time to adjust balls and clubs to the specs of the new grooves, which won't impart as much spin out of the rough, therefore making driving accuracy more relevant (amen to that). This whole thing has been poorly handled from the start, when we first strenuously noted on the day the change was announced that, because the rules would not take effect in the casual-golfer ranks until 2024, it amounted to the dreaded "bifurcation." When the USGA and R&A green-lighted two sets of rules, one for us and one for the pros, it was confusing and idiotic, but the intent was noble at least, and pointed at reining in the tee-ball bombers. But letting manufacturers dictate policy to this degree is asinine, and unfair to the companies that are already prepared for the change. If the rule gets delayed, the USGA, pro tours, players and manufacturers deserve every bit of criticism they get. If, as the PGA Tour promos claim, "these guys are good," then make them play according to the new USGA club specs. How about this simple-minded solution to the groove-and-ball questions: Hit it in the fairway more often. Problem solved.
Breathing too easy
Paper is the traditional gift to celebrate first-year anniversaries. On the PGA Tour, maybe it ought to be rolling papers? This week's tournament in Washington, D.C., represents the 12-month anniversary for drug testing on the tour, and to date, not a single player has been suspended or penalized for violating the rules -- at least not as far as we know. While the tour maintained it would serve notice publicly if anyone was benched for using performance-enhancing drugs, its stance on dealing with the use of street drugs remains ridiculously vague. The commissioner has wide latitude in sanctioning someone who tests positive for cannabis or cocaine, for instance, which could include the option of doing absolutely nothing. Are we expected to believe, then, that every player among the 200-plus who have played in tour events over the past year has resisted, as Policy Board member Stewart Cink put it, "maybe toking a bowl here or there?" Rumors persist that some have flunked tests with impunity because the image-paranoid tour doesn't want it known that players have recreational bad habits, just like other athletes or civilians. While we are not remotely suggesting that weed is equal to steroids -- the clear intent with the latter is to cheat and gain an unfair advantage -- it undermines the credibility of the whole testing enterprise if violations are not dealt with somewhat equally. Plus, we are left to assume that the commissioner would judge each pot violation in a vacuum, and that some no-name scrub at No. 195 in earnings would receive the same sanction as a Ryder Cup hopeful? You should be tested if you believe that's ever gonna happen. In the eyes of the tour, swearing, throwing a club or taking street drugs all fall into the same category of conduct unbecoming a professional player, even though one is clearly illegal. "We will not necessarily be commenting on whether there is any disciplinary action or sanctions arising out of a positive test for drugs of abuse or, in your words, recreational drugs," spokesman Ty Votaw said. "This is similar to our longstanding policy of not commenting on disciplinary action associated with other conduct-unbecoming matters." And you thought the Manny Ramirez's welcome-back party from his drug benching was laughable?
Then let's imagine the alternative
Turns out, some of the Long Island locals were hardly happy when the USGA moved up the final-round tees on the 18th hole at the U.S. Open last Monday, allowing Lucas Glover and others to reach the green with a mid-iron off the tee and a stress-free lofted club to the flag. Those who frequent the Black Course howled that the professionals played the hole from easier tees than does the public, and the criticism had merit, at least at first blush. Several outlets, including CBSSports.com columnist Mike Freeman, noted that 18th fairway was the wettest of the week and that dozens of players were gathering mud on balls hit in the fairway. Rulings on casual water bogged down play in every group. We noted that the Open might be decided by a mudball that veered into the thigh-high fescue at the green, resulting in a crooked number that robbed a guy of the trophy because he happened to hit his tee ball in the fairway. By moving up the tees, balls landed on the upslope near the green, where drainage was better, and players had a chance to blow a driver to within a few yards of the green if they wished. It was the best of a limited set of options, better than seeing a guy risk losing the title after splitting the fairway and picking up, as Ian Poulter called it, "a helmet of mud." Maybe some of the locals, and we're imitating their ear-torturing dialect here, ought to switch their "kawfee" to decaf.
Of Singh and Sing Sing
You can look at this in one of two fashions. Either Vijay Singh is the most loyal friend imaginable, or he is a contemptible dreg worthy of massive doses of scorn. There has been little middle ground as it relates to the news that Singh volunteered to help guarantee the prison bond of disgraced billionaire Allen Stanford, who is suspected by federal officials of massive fraud in a huge rip-off of investors. Singh is a Stanford client who wore company logos on his shirt and bag, and has had his endorsement paychecks and any potential investment monies frozen by federal investigators. Now he is standing up for a guy who has been excoriated in the court of public opinion for ripping off the retirement nest eggs of millions of Americans. No matter how you feel about the perceived nobility of backing up a longtime business associate in a time of need, this is a worse P.R. move than when Singh elected three weeks ago to skip playing in Memphis, where tourney title sponsor Stanford had been ousted and Singh had once appeared in television commercials with the terminally ill kids at the city's famed St. Jude hospital, the tournament beneficiary. Blow off the sickly kids and back Stanford, who by the time this is over might make Bernie Madoff look like a philanthropist. Nice call.
Up
Forty is the new 30
Young guns are old news. For decades, the notion existed that a player reached his peak while in his mid-30s. Well, with the advent of better conditioning, improved diet, tailored equipment and other refinements in the game, that template is no longer sacrosanct. With 48-year-old Kenny Perry's ascent to stardom with five wins in 13 months, the top 10 in the world golf rankings this week looks like a group photo for Just For Men Gel -- except that a couple of these dudes are already going bald. Consider that by this time next year, Phil Mickelson (No. 2), Perry (No. 4), Steve Stricker (No. 8), Jim Furyk (No. 9) and Vijay Singh (No. 10) all will be 40 or older. As the top 10 is presently composed, there won't be a player in his 20s in six months, either, because Sergio Garcia turns 30 in January.
Sons of Clemson, continued
OK, so he didn't quite top the performance a week earlier of fellow Clemson grad Lucas Glover, but for a first-time excursion, last weekend marked a darned fine effort. Kyle Stanley, the latest former Clemson star to join the professional ranks, finished T19 in his pro debut in Hartford, which brings to mind an interesting story from the week before. OK, stay with me here: Stanley played in the U.S. Open, won by Glover, as an amateur at the behest (more like insistence) of the host USGA. Turns out that Stanley left Clemson with the plan of turning pro straightaway but was told by the USGA that he had to play in the Open as an amateur. Why? Stanley had used his exemption as a Walker Cup player to skip the first stage of U.S. Open qualifying and proceed directly to sectionals, where he eventually qualified for a spot at Bethpage Black. But because he used the Walker bid to skip a qualifying stage, he had to remain an amateur for another week as a result. If Stanley gets enough sponsor exemptions, look for him to make some noise in the second half of the 2009 season. Whatever, it was worth the wait, although he made the cut and was a solid 53rd in his amateur swan song at the Open, too.
K.P. duty
Funny thing happened at the fabulously successful Skins Game at the Memorial Tournament a few weeks back. Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods were paired in the same star-laden foursome as Cink and Perry. On one of the final holes, Perry walloped another of his career-defining drives that soared high and with a slight draw, when Woods shook his head in wonderment and muttered, "Man, K.P. just bombs it." You said a mouthful there, pal, and you'd best keep an eye on him, too. Perry won on Sunday in Hartford to give him his fifth win since the 2008 Memorial Tournament, the most of any player on the PGA Tour. Perry also moved atop the FedEx Cup standings, which could mean a $10 million bonus later this fall if he holds up. All this from a guy who turns 50 next year, and to think that some of us thought he might fade away after burning so much energy making the Ryder Cup team last year. Even Perry didn't know if he'd be able to rekindle the flame -– then he nearly won the Masters. It has rarely felt so right to be wrong. Ladies and gents, he's now a career-best No. 4 in the world rankings.
I like Ike, too
In a moment of clarity, the mysterious folks on the board of directors at the World Golf Hall of Fame last week decided to induct Dwight D. Eisenhower into the fold later this fall in the lifetime achievement category, a move that was met with a few hoisted eyebrows here and there. But really, Gen. Ike had a pond and a tree named after him at Augusta National -- both spots where he had occasionally deposited balls -- and was the first truly visible advocate of the game in the White House as its popularity began to reach the masses behind the charisma of his pal, Arnold Palmer. If there's a spot for Dinah Shore, Bob Hope and Chi Chi Rodriguez, all inducted as ambassadors vs. anything they did with their clubs, per se, then we're all right with Dwight. We give this induction five stars, just like Ike's general rank.
TV or not TV, that no longer is the question
As far as mulligans go, it was a nice do-over last week when the PGA Tour scrambled to find a last-minute sub for failed U.K. broadcaster Setanta, which went belly up in the middle of a 5-year broadcast deal. Before a single shot had been missed, the tour signed up Eurosport to broadcast its prime-time golf in the U.K., where it has a far broader audience than did Setanta's pittance of 1.2 million subscribers. Many golf fans despised Setanta because it was too costly, so whatever dollars the tour presumably had to eat in terms of ratcheting down its deal to ink Eurosport as a temporary fill-in over the rest of 2009 might have been worth it from a market-penetration standpoint. Of course, while that won't pay the bills, it made 10 million U.K. subscribers happier and kept the product before an important fan base.
Stars & Stripes and even more stars
Say this for Tiger Woods: While the field at his invitational benefit tournament outside Washington, D.C., this week could certainly be stronger, he's trying to make up for it with firepower elsewhere. Woods will play in the pro-am with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo -- Woods played with Peyton Manning in Charlotte two months ago -- and Romo brought along a pal for good measure. Cover girl actress Jessica Simpson will sing the national anthem to open the tournament festivities, although after having once seen her reality TV show, I hope somebody wrote down the lyrics on a cocktail napkin for easy reference. Still no clue about whether Woods personally convinced Barack Obama to hit the ceremonial first ball when he visited the White House a few weeks back.
